Muskeg Daily Creek. Dateline: Unknown
Muskeg Creek.
Chapter 1
A Loony Welcome
Drive north on highway #510 to the first stop sign, make a left turn west and stop at the lights. Welcome to Muskeg Creek. Directions are simple, only time and distance have been omitted; should these minor details be included it would for sure deter visitors to this unique northern community. The guidebook should read “Drive due north for ten hours to the first stop sign, turn left due west for a further two hours, and stop at the lights.”
The first building on the left is the Road Kill café, fronted by a giant 50ft fibreglass Loon pivoted on a stone plinth to turn in the wind, thus preventing it from leaving it's mount and flying into the river beyond. The black and white fibreglass bird was presented to Muskeg Creek by its twin town, which has an unpronounceable name and is not marked upon any map owned by the Muskeg School Division, or Public Library.
When the Mayor of our unpronounceable twin town, visited along with other dignitaries, on their approach to town they were eager to view their gift for the first time. However, they found they could only see the Loons backside. They suggested their gifted Loon should face visitors on their approach to town, implying “Welcome, have a wonderful visit” not, “Hey this is a bummer of a place.”
The Town's tourism committee hurriedly got to work on the problem, making attempts to secure the Loon to always face west. Brad Waselowski, aerodynamic engineer, bush pilot and museum curator, believed that in theory that this aerodynamically designed bird structure could be secured to face west, and greet travellers upon their final leg of a long drive. Crazy glue, bubble gum and cement in the base all failed due to the strong prevailing westerly wind. Until after 3 frustrating years all efforts were abandoned.
Muskeg's local blacksmith, Les Okemow put forward his inventive idea, to the Loose Loon Committee. When he offered to do alterations for free, his idea was unanimously accepted. Today with added ironmongery, Muskeg's Loony the Loon serves as a weather vane. For most of the year the Loon's beak faces west and its backside still faces east.
The Plaque below on the stone plinth once read “Welcome to Muskeg Creek, This Loon was a gift from our unpronounceable twin town. Have a memorial time” - until the sign writer's error was discovered and corrected, to “memorable time”. Now the sign is shot away and bullet-ridden by frustrated hunters, returning without a kill and bullets to spare, rendering it un- readable. Graffiti artists have written their own greetings. “Moose for Mayor”, “Sam loves Isabelle”, and “A bird on a Plinth is worth two in the bush”.
Out numbered by mosquitos, Muskeg Creek's population fluctuates; it is a friendly town, with a mix of race and cultures, who somehow settled in this remote northern town. Supporting this are 27 Churches of many religions, including Eastern, European, Greek Orthodox, and Muskeg's own Pentecostal Anglican and Lutheran United Church. This is not so much to bring different faiths together, more to save on rent. Faith is strong among these united people, as the sign outside their Church confirms. “Have faith in the Lord; Trust in God” Security by Elmer Wise, Burglar Alarm Company, 28, Moccasin Way.
A place where long hard winters make the women masculine, the men hen-pecked and where the average age of a seven-year-old is fourteen. This is a town where family planning has many misconceptions. A place where, forget the complications, and life is very simple. Time is meaningless, the clock an ornament, and wristwatches just another form of jewellery. When the time is right things happen, be there or miss it.
Muskeg Creek is not the most up-to-date of towns, but more revels in the character and charm of a bygone era, a slower time, a time when there is always tomorrow. The local Cinema screens films a year after their release on video, and you see all the biggest bands ten years after they faded from popularity. Going to the Mall and Walmart is a favourite pastime, sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts, and everyone from the big city has an accent. Vacations mean driving south to a family reunion, the distance measured in hours.
Muskeg Creek flows into Lake Hancock, so named after one of the great northern explorers of the 18 th century, Scotsman AlderJ.Hancock. A ten-foot tall marble Statue of Hancock stands on the shore, by the Marina. His right hand shielding his eyes peering into the vast beyond, in his other hand a compass. Dressed in marble Kilt complete with sporran and knife tucked into knee length socks. Just one of the many attractions listed to have your photograph taken next to in the Muskeg tourist brochure.
All year round Muskegers enjoy the great out doors. Thousands of acres of bush, in which to explore, hunt, trap, and overnight bivouac camp, many lakes on which to boat, canoe, and fish. A true Muskeger is capable of lighting a fire in the coldest or dampest conditions, using birch bark. Content and satisfied with a meal consisting of only bannock and gravy, defusing the myth that the four major food sources are, beef, pork, coke, and Jell-O salad. Muskegers also know which leaves make the best toilet paper.
If Muskeg Creek is not for you move to British Columbia as they have the most Tim Hortons in Canada and places that begin with the letter K.
